Lessons From Ted Lasso
I was watching Ted Lasso yesterday. The episode where they put the Believe sign up in the women’s locker room and it gave me this “aha moment” of realization that so much of what I am struggling with lately is due to a loss of self-belief.
After being scammed by a business coach for 25k, ongoing health issues causing me to lose most of the muscle mass I worked so hard for, and my coaching business dwindling due to depression and the shitty economy... I stopped believing in myself and my dreams.
As I get older, I notice myself looking backward more than I look forward. I look back to times when I had naive amounts of self-belief, or naive amounts of belief in the system or the “American Dream”. I am a bit ashamed to admit that I was a bit late to the party when I realized that the American Dream no longer exists and that working your ass off doesn’t always lead you to achieving your dreams... I fully drank the Kool-Aid of hustle culture and thought that my long days would all be worth it someday.
Instead, I found myself both mentally and physically ill.
After working with the business coach, I realized that the American dream only existed if you were willing to exploit people’s insecurities. This is the tactic the business coach used to get me to sign up, and the tactic she was trying to teach me to use. But, fuck that shit. I would rather be dirt poor than exploit people for money.
That being said, despite my false belief that my hard work would one day pay off, I was happier when I ignorantly believed it. Having something to believe in, whether it is bullshit or not, definitely gives life more hope and meaning. (Which is why deconstructing from Christianity can be so hard, but that is a topic for another day.)
Here is the thing I am realizing: Just because I lost belief in the system and the American dream doesn’t mean I need to lose belief in myself and my dreams. Instead, I need to focus on what I DO believe in, and what I believe in most are my values.
So, as long as I live by my values, there is no reason I should stop believing in myself.
So what are my values? Honesty, creativity, curiosity, compassion, and integrity. So no matter what I do, or how broke I am, I know that I will be okay as long as I stick to living by my values. Because this is what makes life worth living for me. I could have all the money in the world but be a miserable fuck if I earned that money by fucking people over.
Maybe it is the autism and my justice sensitivity speaking, but I don't give a fuck.
There is no amount of money out there that is worth sacrificing my values for, and it makes me feel a bit better about losing 25k to a business coach because I know it is because I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my values in order to earn it back.
I may be at a low point, and I may be in a phase where I question myself about everything and what I am capable of, but the one thing I don’t question is my ability to live by my values, and that is what matters most.
Side note: I fucking love Ted Lasso.
If this resonated with you, or you just want to connect, leave me a comment here.